


Bitch, I'm Harry Potter

by Aylaar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternative Energy, Blaise Might Want Ginny, Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Crack, Crack Relationships, Cute Boys Singing To Each Other, Draco is embarrassed, Draco is sassy, Drarry, Dyed hair, Epilogue? what epilogue, Famous Harry, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Good Draco Malfoy, Happy Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry wears vans, Help, Hermione Wants Pansy, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I May Have Made a TikTok Reference, I promise, I'm 26 and I act like a 14 Year Old, I'm Sorry, I'm super weird, Kissing, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not Epilogue Compliant, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, Out of Character, POV Draco Malfoy, Pansmione Will Happen, Pansy Wants Hermione, Pansy is a VSCO Girl, Parody, References to Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe, References to VSCO Girls, Ron Loves Chicken, Skateboards, Song Lyrics, Song: Buy U A Drank (T-Pain), Song: Sad (XXXTENTACION), Song: Toxic (Britney Spears), This Is STUPID, This is crack, What the hell did I write this for, Why Does Draco Roll His Eyes SO MUCH, and he sings songs, boys, crackfic, i cant believe i wrote this, it's cute, really awkwardly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aylaar/pseuds/Aylaar
Summary: It's Eighth Year at Hogwarts and Harry Potter rocks up with a skateboard, turquoise hair and is fully prepared to prank, annoy and act completely ridiculous. It could be for the attention of Malfoy, it may not be. Who knows?This is a crack fic, it's not serious what so ever and really just a fic full of ridiculousness.This is for my favourite Mommy Puff <3 I love you!Complete
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 49
Kudos: 194





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackAngelSpade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAngelSpade/gifts).



> Warnings: This is ooc, ridiculous and generally mildly hilarious. If that's not your bag, I advise against reading this.
> 
> There's more chapters coming, don't worry. I'm trying to do something that isn't so depressive (this is what I usually write)

“Potter what the fuck?!” exclaimed Draco, his eyes as wide as saucers. The ride to Hogwarts had been fairly uneventful, he’d sat with Blaise and Pansy and exchanged small talk - anxiety rising about the start of their eighth year, if all three of them had been honest they weren’t really sure what kind of reception they’d receive. They’d made for the Great Hall upon arrival, Pansy had been insistent she needed to find out what the rumor mill were spouting since the students seemed to be whispering about something, but others moved away when they got close.

When they’d finally figured out what the gossip was, they’d put it down to idiots making up ridiculous things about their favourite boy hero. Well, Draco couldn’t have been more wrong. Not ten minutes ago, Harry Potter had thumped into the Great Hall equipped with the most ridiculous looking skateboard, which appeared to be spray painted with a snake on it - Draco couldn’t see exactly what it was, but he had a sneaky suspicion it was a snake. Not only that, his hair seemed to be the brightest turquoise, he blinked twice - sure he was seeing things. 

Instead of robes, Potter seemed to be sporting the tightest pair of black jeans he’d ever laid his eyes upon. It should’ve been illegal how tight they were. A black skin tight t-shirt with the word “vans” across his sizeable chest, Draco inwardly cursed himself. On his feet seemed to be what Draco could only describe as checkered sandshoes. Potter had grinned at his friends and gave them a salute as he began to ride around performing some fairly impressive stunts along the aisles.

After he’d seemingly gotten bored of that, he jumped up on to the end of the Slytherin table and began to ride the skateboard along the table, sending cups, plates, cutlery and saucers flying at all angles. When he stopped just beside Malfoy, the screech of the skateboard halting was enough to set his teeth on edge. “Alright Malfoy.” Harry gave him a dopey smile and a salute. Draco’s heart skipped a beat before he then scowled at Potter.

“Again, Potter. What the fuck?” he grumbled, trying to look as put out as he possibly could - to no avail. This just made Potter laugh. “D’ya like my skateboard?” he winked. Draco coughed violently and shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. “Oh, sure, great..” he mumbled after finally calming down. “Aha, I knew you did. You dirty bastard.” he winked again, before setting off down the table once again.

“Mr Potter!” Professor McGonnagall bellowed, her face like thunder. “Take that wooden contraption out of here this instant.” Harry, who had jumped off the end of the table and wandlessly accio’d his skateboard, saluted McGonagall too. “Right you are Professor.” he smirked, before exiting the Great Hall. The only sound that followed was the rolling sound of Potter’s ridiculous skateboard.

“Well this is going to be an interesting year.” Blaise smirked.

\-----------------------------------------------

It had been three days since the Great Hall event and Draco had to admit, Potter was definitely attractive. He’d cursed himself several times at the thought, preferring to endlessly glare at the now turquoise haired saviour. 

His antics had only gotten worse, he actually seemed to make it his life's mission to annoy Draco as much as he possibly could, which to his credit was excellent karma for the previous years. Draco groaned at the amount of time he’d wasted trying to irritate Potter, since he seemed to be dishing it back tenfold.

Concentrating on the cauldron seated in front of him, Draco arranged his ingredients on the table before him, desperately trying to ignore the turquoise idiot beside him. “Malfoy, your potion looks wrong.” Harry had nudged his elbow in to him. Raising an eyebrow, Draco turned his head towards the Gryffindor and sighed. “It’s fine.” he mumbled in response. “Nope, it’s wrong, it’s supposed to be more potiony.” 

“More.. Potiony?” he frowned, his eye twitching. “It’s a fucking potion, you can’t get more potiony than a potion!” he bellowed. “Nah, I think it should be more potiony.” he once again commented, looking in to the cauldron with vague interest. “This is soup.”

“Soup?” he spluttered, growing more infuriated by the second. “It’s… Soup? No, Fuck Potter.” Harry smirked at the obviously riled Draco and raised his eyes suggestively. “Ooh, you offering?”

Blushing violently, Draco quickly turned his head away. “Just shut up Potter” he bit out, adding another ingredient into the cauldron. “Excellently done Malfoy, ten points to Slytherfin.” Harry teased. Prodding a finger in to his side. “Slytherin.” Draco corrected, immediately scolding himself. “Slytherfin, I read it in Hogwarts a Bitchery.”

Harry then began to quietly sing the lyrics to Eurythmics ‘Sweet Dreams’ Draco facepalmed.

\-----------------------------------------------

The next day was no better, Potter sauntered into the Great Hall wearing a t-shirt adorning a dabbing skeleton, a pair of jeans, similar to the ones he usually wore except these ones had down the side of the leg ‘Fuck Bitches Get Money’

“Is he mental, or has had Imperio cast on him?” Draco commented, shaking his head in disbelief. In Potter's hand was a black round contraption. Over at the Gryffindor table he received a few whoops of praise. Draco rolled his eyes. 

Placing the metal box down onto the table, Potter began smashing buttons violently, a look of pure concentration on his face. What came blaring out of the box stunned Draco. Potter then jumped up on to the Gryffindor table and began doing some sort of elaborate dance routine, following him was Seamus and Dean.

“He’s drunk, clearly.” Blaise commented. Pure disbelief on all three of their faces. Pansy laughed. “He has to be doesn’t he?” she replied.

The song was clearly Buy U A Drank by T-Pain, though Draco was unaware of this. Jumping down off the table, Harry jogged towards the Slytherin table and stopped in front of Draco with a wide grin on his face. He then began to belt out “Baby girl, what’s your name? Lemme talk to ya, lemme buy u a drank, I’m HP you know me.” Draco stared up at him wide eyed, blushing deeply. “What the fuck are you doing now, Potter?” he shouted, whilst coughing. His voice came out more of a squeak than anything else.

“I’m checking your body language, I love the conversation and when you lick your lips I get a tingle of sensation.” He did an elaborate crotch rocking motion at the end. Draco dropped his head with a thud to the table.

“What the fuck.” he whispered to himself in pure disbelief. “Yas Potter, nice moves.” Pansy praised, standing up she began to dance along with him. Blaise, who was just as stunned as Draco nudged him. “What the fuck.” Blaise copied. 

“Worlds gone mad, I don’t know.” he groaned, not raising his head. After a few minutes, the song changed. It really wasn’t the day for McGonnagall to be absent from the Great Hall.

Harry then ran around the table and grabbed a hold of Draco’s arm, lifting him up. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t resisting Potter, but soon he was stood in front of him, there was no point in hiding his blush at this point, he was well and truly fucked. 

“No I'm not tryin' to be rude, but hey, pretty slytherfin, I'm feelin' you, the way you do the things you do remind me of my Lexus coupé. That's why I'm all up in your grill, tryin' to get you to a hotel, You must be a football coach, the way you got me playin' the field” he sung whilst he bashed his hip off Malfoy. Other students seemed to begin to join in with the dancing, much to Draco’s mortification. “Can you not?” Draco groaned, shaking his head at Potter who shrugged his shoulders.

“Ya hot, what can I say?” he winked, licked his bottom lip and jogged way, leaving Draco with a semi and a soul destroyed look on his face.

\--------------------------

Draco was wrong, today was definitely the worst day. He’d dropped his bag about five times now after spontaneous wolf whistling occurred whenever a student seen him. He even went to the bathroom to check his appearance. He was beginning to feel completely paranoid, peering round corners like an actual stalker.

When he arrived to his class, which happened to be Divination - he walked through the door and once again received the fright of his life as his classmates started wolf whistling to him again, dropping his books for the sixth time. “Fuck sake.” he grumbled as he bent over to retrieve them. Suddenly, out of nowhere Potter lent over from his seat and sung out “Ohhh no, I think I’m catching feelings.” making an elaborate pointing motion towards Draco’s arse.

It really was the worst day to wear his pressed linen suit. Since McGonnagall had announced eighth years would not have to wear their robes, he mostly wore a suit every day. Even Draco knew his arse looked on point in these trousers. After awkwardly picking his books up, he scanned the room to find Pansy, his eyes widening at the scene. Pansy was stood up, ushering him over wearing a PVC skater skirt, a crop top, adorning a flower crown on her head. “What the fuck are you wearing?” He whispered as he sat down in the seat next to her, she carefully smoothed her skirt before sitting next to him. “I’m looking fly, bro.” she whispered back. Draco felt like he was on another planet. Since when did Pansy wear THAT, or say THAT. 

“Worlds gone mad.” 

As Trelawney began to start the class, Draco zoned out. He really wasn’t the slightest bit interested in Divination this year, and she seemed to have one of those voices that put you to sleep. Unfortunately he was pulled out of his daydream by a loud screech, his eyes moved to the perpetrator, of course it was Potter. 

“I had a vision!” he exclaimed, an amused look on his face. Ron, who was sitting beside him smirked. “Oh no mate, what is it?!” he asked, sarcasm dripping. “It was so real!” Harry added, a hint of laughter in his voice. He then turned his attention to Draco, who groaned. “My vision, oh my god, Draco we’re married. Oh wow. You’re fit naked.” he winked, before sitting down. “Call me maybe?”

Draco ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair. Two can play that game, Draco thought. “Definitely Potter, you’re pretty fit yourself.” he winked back, it startled Harry for a moment before he made a heart with his hands and blew a kiss to Draco. Copying his movements, Draco sent him a hand sign heart back then made to catch the kiss. “So sweet Potter, my heart is melting.” he drawled. 

Ron began to laugh beside Harry, nudging his friend in the side. “You got him mate.” he grinned. Though he immediately raised an eyebrow as he noticed a blush forming on Harry’s cheeks, his friend was still staring over at Malfoy who’d turned his attention back to the teacher.

“Really?! Malfoy?!” he whispered. Harry shrugged his shoulders in response.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco mentally cursed himself. He really wished he’d not been baited into Potter’s antics in Divination. The reason being the turquoise moron ramped it up tenfold since. It started by Potter following him around the corridors singing “I was busy dreamin' bout boys, boys, boys, head is spinning thinking about boys.” pointing at Draco the entire time. He was deeply mortified as he heard the snickering of his peers.

It was a Thursday when he finally caught Potter off guard, he’d spent all morning of his free period researching muggle songs, he’d finally settled on a song and he was going to dish it back twice as hard as he got.

Sneaking up behind Harry as he walked towards the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall he made a quick check and noted McGonnagall was not there, before he put his wand up in the air casting sonorus and pointed his wand towards the boombox Pansy had been holding in her hands. She’d been helping and following him all morning. It was going to be perfect.

Music started blaring, causing the attention of students around about. Toxic, by Britney Spears. Draco had been praised on his excellent singing voice numerous times before, but Pansy agreed to be his back up singer. He’d even recruited Blaise who was wildly reluctant to join in. Blaise began to snap his fingers, a disturbed look on his face.

“Baby can’t you see? I’m calling a guy like you, should wear a warning - it’s dangerous… I’m falling.” He made an elaborate swoon motion towards Harry, who was stood startled, staring at Malfoy. 

“There’s no escape, I can’t wait, I need a hit baby give me it, you’re dangerous I’m lovin ' it.” he winked.

“With a taste of your lips I’m on a ride, you’re toxic I’m slipping under.”

He walked up to Potter and put his mouth up to his ear, whispering - though it was loud enough with the sonorus that everyone in the hall could hear it. “I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic?” 

Turning on his heel, he swiftly exited the Great Hall leaving Harry completely stunned.

\--------------------------------------

He’d been free from Potter’s antics for exactly seventeen hours. Draco had been walking through the corridors on his way to his first class of the day, Transfiguration. Minding his own business, he thought he’d finally gotten Potter and he’d leave him alone when it happened. Draco felt the steady flow of magic before he whipped around, his eyes resting on the platinum blonde of Luna Lovegood. “Hello Draco.” she smiled dreamily, wand in hand. He looked up and groaned. “I hope you like them! Careful of the Nargles!” she exclaimed before skipping off in the opposite direction.

“What the fuck.” He moaned to himself shaking his head in disbelief. Above him was a constant steady stream of rose petals floating down. He moved out of the stream, to find that the rose petals were following him. He found himself asking what the fuck way too much recently, he put his head in his hand and took in a deep breath, before exhaling loudly.  
He slowly made his way to the Transfiguration classroom, entering last. He was meant to be first. He was on track, but no of course he had to walk in to the classroom with a bunch of fucking rose petals floating round him like he was some sort of blushing bride recently married. 

“Ooh, nice flowers Malfoy!” Ron whooped, the class erupted into laughter. A very disappointed look sat on Professor McGonnagall’s face, she shook her head. “Mr Malfoy, so nice of you to join us.” she commented, wincing Draco looked round the class to find the only free spot next to Potter, of course.

Slowly walking towards him, he nodded to Potter and sat down next to him, dumping his bag on the floor beside him. “Nice flowers.” Harry smirked, looking up at where the roses began to stream. “You look very pretty in bloom.” he teased.

“Fuck off Potter.” he mumbled, looking up to McGonnagall. “Because you seem to like them so much, I’ll leave them on you Mr Malfoy.” the hint of amusement in her eyes annoyed Draco to no ends. They’re all loving this, he thought.

“You look like you were just married!” Hermione exclaimed, a hand over her mouth to mask her amusement. “Here comes the briiiide!” Ron joined in, winking towards Harry. “Was this you?” Draco whispered to Potter, who shook his head - though he didn’t quite believe him.

“Of course not, no idea what you’re talking about, nope.” he winked.

During the lesson, all Potter seemed to do was fuck about. He transfigured the coin in front of them to a rose boa, placing it gently round Draco’s neck. “Are you fucking serious?” Draco moaned, picking up the end of the boa with his pointy fingers. “It’s quite nice actually, this is well done.” he commented, though before he realised what he said he groaned. “Fuck sake, I meant…” 

“I know what you meant, Draco.” Harry winked. “You’re welcome, it’s your first gift from me. It suits you.” Draco looked at him like he’d grown an extra two heads. “You’re completely mental, Potter.” He tried to ignore the way he said Draco, it sounded so enticing. He was so buggered, so so buggered.

\-------------------------------

Pansy had convinced him during free period that they should go to the courtyard. The stupid bint knew Potter would be there, she just bloody knew. “Seriously, Parkinson?” he raised an eyebrow at her, shaking his head. “Why did we come here, you knew Potter would be here didn’t you?” Pansy smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “Sksksk it’s fine, he’s in love with you.” she winked.

“No, he just wants to fuck my life up.” he whined, sitting down on the stone seat beside a tree. “Oh you’re such a melodramatic queen Draco.” she cooed, patting his back. “You’ll live through Potter wanting to bone you.”

“Ugh Pansy, stop.” 

“What’s that about Potter wanting to bone you?” Harry asked, standing in front of Draco with a massive smirk on his face, one that could rival him. “Nothing.” Draco quickly replied turning his head to Pansy with pleading eyes. “I was just telling Draco dearest here, that he’ll live through your courting.” 

Harry raised an eyebrow and threw his head back in laughter. “I should hope so Parkinson, if he doesn’t my courting hardly went well did it?” Draco felt like he wanted the world to come and swallow him up. “I’m not gay Potter.” 

Harry looked at him for a few moments, before turning his head to Pansy. “Of course you are Draco, that’s why you didn’t want to see my tits.” Draco spluttered. “I don’t want to see your tits because I don’t fancy you!” 

“You fancied Cedric.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Not.”

“Too.”

Harry watched the exchange with amused interest, he sat down on the stone bench beside Draco, putting a hand on his knee. “I’m here when you want me.” he said sweetly, a wide smile on his face. Draco flinched and swatted away Potter’s hand. “I don’t want you Potter!” he squeaked, standing up quickly. “Not now! Not ever!” he shouted as he retreated quickly.

“He definitely does.” Pansy smirked.

“I know, it’s just a matter of time.” Harry agreed. He accio’d his skateboard, mounted and began riding off towards Draco’s direction.

“Boys.” she sighed.

\--------------------------------------

After finally catching up to Draco, he circled round him on the skateboard before halting just in front of him. “What do you want now Potter.” he asked, pouting. He wasn’t sure why he was pouting. Fuck. Harry moved forwards, inching his face close to Draco’s. He could feel the ghost of breath on his lips, swallowing Draco watched him closely, but making no effort to move away.

He was so close he could almost feel his lips, Draco’s stomach dropped, butterflies. Fuck. So fucked. “You look so beautiful when you pout.” Harry whispered against his lips, before he pulled away and mounted his skateboard, rolling away.

“What the fuck.” Draco said out loud, putting his fingers to his lips. They’d only pressed for a moment, he wanted it back. “Potter!” he shouted, but Harry was already gone.

\---------------------------------------

Draco had been whiny all day the next day, he sat at the table in the Great Hall picking up toast slices and throwing them back on the plate, like a petulant child.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” asked Blaise, looking from Draco to the toast on his plate. “Nothing.” he snapped, his eyes wandering over to the Gryffindor table. Harry was sat laughing and joking with his friends, occasionally throwing bits of food back and forth to the littlest Weasley. A pang of jealousy hit Draco like a freight train.

Had this all been a bit of a piss take at his expense? No, he wasn’t having it. He stood up and stormed out the Great Hall with theatre dramatics. 

Harry’s eyes had wandered towards Draco as he exited the Great Hall, he took this as his queue to get up, exchanging goodbyes with his friends and jogged out of the Hall, scanning the area for Draco.

“Yo Malfoy, what’s new.” he shouted, jogging up to him before falling into step. “What’s new?” Draco replied, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, what, why are you asking me this?” 

“Ah ya know, making conversation. You know you’d look decent with pink hair.” he commented, gesturing towards Draco’s perfectly styled platinum locks. “Piss off Potter, I’m not doing that.” he looked up at Harry’s turquoise and curled his lip. “Why did you do that?”

“Looks cool.”

“That’s it?” he laughed

“Aye, that’s it Malfoy.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Draco stopped and turned towards Harry expectantly. “Did you want something?” Harry pouted. “Oh, you’re pouting this time, does that mean we’re going to snog this time?” Draco teased.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment. “You gunna sing to me again?” he teased right back.” Draco snorted. “Not a chance.”

“Aww, but your voice is so nice!” he whined. “Sing sing sing sing.” 

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“Pretty please?” Draco frowned.

“Cherry on top?”

Groaning, Draco shook his head and turned around, walking back towards the Great Hall. “Where are you going?” Harry asked, following him. “To eat lunch.” 

When they’d entered the Great Hall together, students erupted into cheers. “Woohoo go Harry!” they shouted. Ron was clapping his hands as though he’d won the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Hermione punching the air. “Woohoo!” Pansy shouted.

“What the fuck is going on?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow and staring at Harry expectantly. “Uhh, well..” he started. Dropping to one knee, he produced a long box and winked at Draco.

“Will you wand me?” he asked, opening the box to reveal Draco’s long lost wand. “Ugh, Potter why do you do this to me.” he groaned, grabbing the wand box out of the turquoise maniac’s hands. “Yes Potter, I’ll wand you. Thanks.” he sighed in defeat.

“Sweet, my bed or yours?” Harry grinned. “What?!” Draco exclaimed, he then threw the wand back at Potter, it hit the floor with a clink. “FUCKING HELL YOU’RE ALL MAD!” Draco shouted, darting back to the Slytherin table. 

Suddenly, music started up again and Draco dropped his head in his hands, shaking it. “Why…” 

Harry now had a guitar in his hand, when Draco looked up. He had no idea where it came from. “Guess what I’m saying, guess what I’m sayin’ is, guess what I’m sayin is I fucking love you!” Harry began to sing, a wide grin on his face. “Love you through the better days, love you through the rainy ones  
champion, you're number one, yeah, that's true” he then threw the guitar over on the floor and pointed to Draco “That’s my baby, yeah!” 

“Fuck my actual life.” Draco whined. Pansy tutted at him and laughed. “The most famous wizard in the world loves you and you’re acting like a spoilt idiot, every person in Hogwarts knows you’ve been obsessed with him since First Year.” she grinned.

“Fuck you too Pansy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 of ridiculousness. Ayy


	3. Chapter 3

Sat in the Library, Draco was staring down at his parchment, quill in hand. He tapped it against the side of his head, there was no way he could concentrate, never mind write eight inches on why his potion failed. “Maybe I should just write it was soup.” he mumbled under his breath, his mind drifting back to Potter. “More potiony.” he rolled his eyes. Idiot Potter.

Pulled out of his musings by a loud thud in front of him, the turquoise boy wonder slammed his books down on the desk causing him to scowl. “What do you want now Potter?” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Come to read my book with you and I certainly won’t be pretending so I can watch you the entire time” he grinned, plonking his bum down on the bench in front of him.

“Can’t you just leave me alone for five minutes, the fuck is wrong with you?” Draco grumbled. “Hey you could leave but you’re not gonna cause ya love me.” Harry winked, opening his book upside down. He began to pretend to read, squinting over the top of his book to look at Draco.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to do that?” Draco moaned, running a hand through his hair. “And you believed me? Ha! I’m such a good liar. Harry James Lie Extreme Cover His Ass Malfoy-Potter” he nodded as if he was thoroughly pleased with himself. “Great name, excellent in fact.” he waggled his finger.

“Malfoy-Potter?” Draco said slowly, raising an eyebrow. “Why..? Oh, fucking hell Potter you could at least be subtle.” 

“I was subtle, I added it in at the end!” Harry argued, but the amused look on his face never faltered. “That wasn’t subtle.”

“Was too.”

“Was not.”

“Wassss toooooooo” Harry grinned.

Draco rolled his eyes and looked down at his parchment, he then crumpled it up into a ball and threw it at Harry’s head. It bounced straight off and over to the right somewhere. Harry burst into laughter, earning a pointed look from Madam Pince. “Out, now!” she shouted, gesturing towards the door.

Sighing, Draco picked his books up and glared at Harry. “Thanks Potter, I was meant to be doing my bloody homework.” he groaned. Harry picked his things up quickly and followed Malfoy out the Library doors, saluting Madam Pince as he went. “Why do you do that?” Draco frowned. “It’s cool, I’m cool, you’re cool, let's get married.”

“Ugh.” Draco sighed again. 

\------------------------------------------

As Draco and Harry walked in to the Great Hall together, they had been completely silent the whole way there, walking in step. Harry turned to Draco as he was about to depart to his table and cleared his throat. “Do you want to go on a date?” he asked, running a hand through his hair.

Draco turned to look at him, frowned and sighed again. Something he was doing a lot more recently. “No, Potter. Just no.” He then turned and walked towards his table, sitting down beside Blaise.

Harry stood on the spot and groaned, turning to walk to his own table. Sitting down, he turned his head to Hermione and bit his lip. “How do I get Draco to agree to a date with me?”

“What? How the bloody hell should I know!” she shrugged, piling some mashed potatoes on her plate. “If you find the answer to that question, tell me how I can get a date with Pansy.” Harry’s eyes widened and he smirked. “I didn’t know you liked her.”

“Shut up, Ron doesn’t know.” she whispered. 

Thinking for a moment, Harry accio’d his boombox and he started fiddling with the dials. “Not again Harry.” she whined. “Aye, it has to happen ‘Mione.”

He picked the boombox up and walked over to the Slytherin table, dropping it down on to the table. Draco looked up at him and groaned. “Fucking hell Potter.”

The song that started playing was ‘Sad’ by XXXTENTACION. The tune itself, Draco already knew this one was going to drive him up the wall. “Do you actually have to?” he continued, looking up at Potter as he put his best sad face on.

“Who am I? Someone that’s afraid to let go, uh, you decide if you’re ever gunna let me know, uh, suicide if you ever let go, I’m sad I know, yeah, I’m sad I know yeah.” he started, twirling around as he sung. Casting a sonorus, he got down on his knees and looked up at the ceiling in pure dramatic fashion and started belting out “I gave him everything he took my heart and left me lonely, I THINK BROKEN HEARTS CONTAGIOUS I won’t fix I’d rather weeeeep. I’m losttt and I’m fouuuuund but It’s torture being in looove I love when you’re around but I FUCKING HATE WHEN YOU LEEEEEAVVVVEEEE Who a-” 

Harry was cut off by Draco, who stood up and threw his arms into the air “Fine!” he shouted, shaking his head “I’ll go on a fucking date with you, just stop bloody singing!” he continued, his face flame red. Harry looked up at him sheepishly and grinned, turning his boombox off. “Okey-dokey” he then jogged off towards his table, leaving the boombox.

“Incendio.” Draco mumbled, pointing his wand at the boombox. Nothing happened. “It’s protected, Malfoy.” Harry shouted as he sat back down beside Hermione, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

“Yassss, you got a date with Potter.” Pansy smiled, patting Draco on the back. Blaise, sat at the other side of him sighed. “This is the weirdest year I have ever had at Hogwarts.” 

“You’re telling me.” Draco nodded in agreement. He couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the prospect of a date with Potter, not that he’d ever admit that.

\----------------------------

Two days later, Draco was sat on one of the leather couches in the Slytherin Common Room, beside him Pansy. “Do you think Granger is hot?” Pansy asked casually, flicking through the latest edition of Witch Weekly. “What?” Draco frowned, turning his head towards her. “Granger? Ugh no, why?” he mumbled. “Oh, no reason.” 

“Ugh.” he repeated, shaking his head. “Why do you think Potter hasn’t told me when our date is?” he sighed, his eyes rested on her copy of Witch Weekly and he began scanning his eyes down the article she was stuck on. “Have you tried asking him that?” she drawled in response, rolling her eyes.

“No, I’m not desperate.” he whined. “Oh, sure, could’ve fooled me Drakey-poo.” she cooed, patting him on the bicep lightly. “Fuck off Pans.” he then scowled. “Drakey-poo?” 

“Yup, that’s your new name, I’ve decided.” she nodded her head and shut the magazine. “Just go ask him, stop bothering me about it.” she stood and walked towards the girls dorms, waving over her shoulder. “Going shower, byeeeee.” 

“Stupid bint.” he mumbled under his breath. Leaning down, he opened his bag and pulled out a piece of parchment from the front section, grabbing his quill and ink, he quickly unscrewed the cap and dipped the tip in to the pot. “Hmm.” 

He then began to scribble on the parchment.

_Potter,_

_When we doing this bloody date then?_

_D.M._

He then folded it up in to some elaborate origami bird, pointed his wand at it and mumbled something under his breath, rolling his eyes as it drifted away towards the owlery. “Idiot Potter, making me look desperate.”

\--------------------------------------------

An hour later, Draco began doing his rounds as eighth year prefect when his owl swooped down and sat beside his feet, clutching a piece of pink paper. He raised an eyebrow and took the letter, stroking his owl after. “Thanks.”

Opening it, he bit his bottom lip.

_Uhh, whenever you like Draco, how about… Tomorrow?  
Harry <3_

Draco looked at the ‘<3’ and frowned, it then dawned on him it was a heart and he rolled his eyes. Instead of replying, he decided to let him stew. That would teach him, yeah.

After about thirty minutes, Draco was finishing up his rounds after telling a couple fourth year Hufflepuffs to stop snogging in the corridor and get back to their dorms, he heard the gentle roll of something behind him. Turning around, he then began to scowl. Potter, in a pair of tight jogging bottoms and a black t-shirt adorning several golden snitches stopped just in front of him, on that bloody skateboard.

“Hiya Draco.” he grinned, picking up his skateboard. “So, tomorrow?”

“How did you know where I was?” Draco asked, looking suspicious. “Ah, you know. So, tomorrow?”

“Hmm… I’ll have to think about it.” he replied, turning his back to him once again. “Awww, hey you asked me, I just replied, so… Tomorrow?” Harry tapped his shoulder. “Yes, fine… Tomorrow..” he sighed.

“Suuuuuhweeeet.” Draco began to walk down the corridor, wondering what the hell it was he just said. “Oh and Draco!” he Harry shouted. Draco turned his head frowned. “Hmm?”

“I’ll meet you at the Great Hall about 7?” 

“Sure.”

“Love you”

Draco rolled his eyes and walked away. “He’s going to be the death of me.” he mumbled to himself, leaving a thrilled looking Potter behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, had to add that song in.


	4. Chapter 4

Draco had been pacing the Slytherin Common Room for about forty-five minutes. “You’re going to give me fucking whiplash soon.” Pansy groaned, rolling her eyes at Draco. It was 6:30pm and he knew he had to be outside the Great Hall for 7. “I don’t think this outfit is good enough.” he moaned, finally thumping down on the sofa next to her, running a hand through his hair.

“You spent three hours deciding, it’s perfect Draco.” she sighed. It was true, he was wearing a dark blue satin two piece suit, with a crisp white shirt underneath. The trousers were completely skin tight, the blazer fitted so well it accentuated everything.

“Just go and bang Potter, Merlin.” she scolded, slapping his arm hard enough for it to sting. “Fine! Fine!” he sighed, skulking out the Common Room as quickly as he could.

Stood outside the Great Hall for 6:49, Draco felt completely ridiculous. He was early, definitely looked desperate and was receiving quite a few smirks from his peers passing by. He wondered if Potter was going to stand him up just for shits and giggles.

Eventually though, Potter arrived wearing a pair of jeans he was sure he had to spell on to his body, there was no way he could possibly put them on himself, complete with a shirt that was definitely as skin tight as his trousers. Draco’s mouth went dry.

“Hey” Harry waved, a sheepish smile on his face. “Potter.” Draco nodded. “So where are we going?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, Three Broomsticks?” 

“A pub?” Draco frowned. “Sure, okay.”

Harry grinned and put his hand out for him, which Draco took hesitantly and they began walking out the Castle, down the winding path and towards Hogsmeade Village. They both chatted lightly about their friends, things they’d been up to but the conversation died down in to comfortable silence as they walked, the moonlight shining down on them.

Once they’d arrived in Hogsmeade, they entered The Three Broomsticks quickly and sat down at a table near the back. Harry grinned at Draco, who looked a little uncomfortable. “What do you want to drink?” he asked, standing up and gesturing towards the bar. “Whatever you’re having.” Draco mumbled, wiping his palms on his trousers. He was ridiculously nervous.

“Alright.” Harry walked to the bar and ordered two drinks, after a few minutes he arrived back at the table with two glasses of firewhiskey. He passed one glass to Draco and sat down opposite him again. Sipping it, the burn hit the back of his throat immediately, Draco coughed a little and smiled lightly. “Thanks.”

After a steady stream of conversation, flirting and banter, Harry had ordered more and more drinks - they were both absolutely steaming.

“H-How POttEr” Draco slurred, for some reason his posh accent changed in to some sort of Northern-Scottish hybrid, which made Harry burst into laughter. “Aye Malfoy?” Harry asked, wiping the tears forming in his eyes away. “Give is, give me a go on your wooden thing.” Harry raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh you’ll get that, don’t you worry Draco.” he replied, trying to sound as non-drunk as possible. “Ya SKATebOard” Draco grinned, tipping the rest of his glass back, grimacing as it went down.

“SHOTS, WE SHOULD DO SHOTS!” exclaimed Harry, clapping his hands like a toddler. Draco nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Definitely! Shots! Wait.. What?”

Harry had already jumped up and ran to the bar, ordering copious amounts of different shots, he walked back to the table with the tray he’d acquired and slammed it down on the table causing some of the liquid to tip out the top of the little mini glasses. “Right, ok.” Harry nodded, a serious look on his face. “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS EVERYYYYYYYBODYYYYYYYY!” he sung loudly, slamming his fists down on the table as he sung “shot” Draco had a wide grin on his face, he began to chant it with him, they then started throwing back the many different types of alcohol Harry had procured.

“Fuck me!” Draco exclaimed, slamming one of the shot glasses down on the table. “The fuck was that one?” he made a gagging noise and screwed his face up. “Black Sambucca” Harry sniffed the glass and grimaced with him. “Thass always a bad one!” both of their words were as slurred as they could be at this point, eventually they decided to stumble out the pub in to the cool wind.

“Right, give is a go on that wooden thing then.” Draco smirked. Harry shrugged his shoulders and badly accio’d the skateboard to him, it hit him square in the chest. “Fuck that was fucking sore, you stupid twat.” he threw the skateboard down and gave it a pointed glare, if not a little awkward considering he was so drunk he could barely stand at this point.

Draco put his foot on it and pushed it back and forth many times to get a grip, then began to ride it round the street, whooping and cheering as he pulled his other foot up to roll away. “YASSS YOU GOT IT!” Harry shouted, jumping up and down with excitement, he then stumbled and fell flat on his arse. Draco began to laugh at Potter falling and tumbled straight off the skateboard, ripping the side of his satin trousers. He shrugged his shoulders “Oh well.” Harry cracked up at this “Posh boys trousers are ripped, EVERYONE LOOK AT HIS TROUSERS!” Harry laughed, rolling onto his back, his hands around his stomach, constant laughter streaming from the two of them.

“I still think you’d look good with pink hair.” Harry grinned. “Let's do it!” Draco said with a serious look on his face, then he crumpled into laughter again. 

After getting up, Draco realized his trouser leg was ripped in about four different places, they walked arm in arm singing merrily up the path towards Hogwarts together. “Do you know Drunk In Love by Beyonce?” Harry asked Draco seriously. Draco blushed a little. “Actually yes, I do know that one, Pansy likes it.”

“I been drinkin I BEEN DRINKIN!” Harry started, beaming at Draco.  
Draco smirked at him. “I get filthy when that liquor get into me!” Draco continued  
Startling Harry somewhat. “I've been thinking, I've been thinking”  
Stopping dead, Draco turned to Harry, placed his hand on his cheek moved forwards and whispered against his lips “Why can't I keep my fingers off you, baby?” closing the distance, Harry’s lips pressed against the other boys, a small gasp escaped Draco’s lips before he smiled against Harry’s lips and began to move, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, Harry snaked his arms around Draco’s waist. Let it be said that these two were really giving it their all, tongues mixed together, the taste of the whiskey was overwhelming. After some intense snogging, they pulled apart and began to laugh again.

“Dye job time.” Harry said breathlessly, cursing himself for wearing such tight jeans. Draco’s eyes trailed down and he smirked. “You gunna call me peaches when we get this nasty?” he grabbed Harry’s erection through his jeans, Harry started to laugh a little and bit down on his lip. “Hell fucking yes.” was the reply.   
They ran the rest of the distance up to the castle, holding hands singing the lyrics to Partition, by of course Beyonce.  
Once they arrived at the Castle, they found a few students in the courtyard - it was late, at least 11pm. A lot of people seemed to know about their date, which made Draco laugh even more. “Did you tell people you were taking me out?” Draco asked as they began to swirl dance around the courtyard, some of the students began to laugh at them, but neither boy really cared at this point.

“Maybeeeeeee!” Harry squealed as he was spun round with a little bit too much force and ended up on his arse, again. Helping him up badly and stumbling around, they swayed in to the castle and walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room, the portrait was a little pissed off at letting a Slytherin in but reluctantly they both went in to the common room and slammed down on the sofa beside the fire.

“Fuck sake it’s so red in here.” Draco groaned, squinting his eyes at the gaudy bunting above him. “Aye thass what happens in here ya” Harry slurred. Suddenly, he jumped up and ran to the bedrooms, after a few minutes he ran back downstairs and jumped on to the sofa but over shot it a bit and ended up on the floor. “Here it is! Pink Malfoy, gorgeous.” he nodded.

He began to mix the dye up and when it was ready, put the plastic gloves on and grinned at Draco. “Scared, Malfoy?” Draco’s eyes glistened at this and he smirked. “You wish.”

Harry then proceeded to squirt a generous amount of pink hair dye on to Draco’s platinum locks, rubbing it in half arsed. After a few minutes Ron and Seamus walked down the stairs to see what the ruckus was. “What the fuck are you doing Harry?” Ron asked huskily, obviously he’d been woken up.

“Doing Malfoy.” Harry responded, biting his lip in concentration as he completely covered Draco’s head with pink dye. “Malfoy.. Your hair.. Nope, I’m going back to bed.” he then turned around and exited quickly, looking thoroughly scarred for life. Seamus on the other hand, amused to no ends sat down on the edge of the sofa and watched as Harry dyed Draco’s hair.

After he’d finished, he plonked down beside Draco and grinned. “You’re such a babe.” he slurred. Draco winked at him “No, you are.” Seamus started to laugh wildly and shook his head. “You’re both fucking weird.” he grinned and wandered back up to his room.

When the time was up, Harry led Draco up to the bathrooms and rinsed the pink hair dye out of his hair, after it was running clear he turned the shower head off and noted that Draco was completely soaked. “Shall I get you out of these wet clothes?” Harry waggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Draco to snort in amusement. “Go on then.”

Harry peeled the blazer off Draco, then began to unbutton his shirt badly his hands shaking, he wasn’t sure if he was nervous or just really steaming at this point but who cares. He threw the clothes down on the ground and began to unbutton Draco’s trousers, eventually leaving the other boy with just his boxers on. Harry dragged his eyes down his body and let out a weird squeak noise. “What?” Draco looked down at his own body. “You’re fucking hot.” Harry nodded in approval.

Draco then proceeded to vanish Harry’s clothes. “So are you.” Harry groaned “I liked those trousers.” Draco began to laugh “Me too.” After stumbling back into the dorms, Harry plonked down on his bed pulling Draco down on top of him dragging the duvet over the top of them. 

“Wanna fuck?” Harry asked bleary eyed. “Oh thass eloquent” Draco mumbled, his eyes fluttering closed. Neither of them managed to actually stay awake long enough, drifting in to peaceful sleep.

\------------------------------------

Harry woke up to the most intense hangover he’d ever felt, his arm was absolutely aching too, he opened his eyes and squinted up at the light, he heard the whispers and snickers of people around him, his eyes snapped to Ron, Dean, Seamus and Neville, even Hermione stood over his bed. “What’re you all? Oh.” he turned his head to the sleeping form of an exceptionally pink haired Draco.

“Ah, fuck..” he groaned, nudging Draco forcefully. The other boy moaned and turned slightly, his eyes fluttering open. Shell shocked, he looked at his audience and blushed scarlet, he then turned his head towards Harry, hid his head under the covers and mumbled against his chest “Why…” Harry just grinned and saluted his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that was mental lol.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I haven't forgotten about this story. I'm back with more ridiculousness. :)

After Harry had safely gotten everyone out of the room, he nudged Draco and bit down on his lower lip hard to stifle the giggle forcing its way up his throat. Draco’s hair was shocking pink, for being absolutely pissed out of his brains he didn’t half do a good job he silently noted. Draco shifted and pulled himself up and out of Harry’s bed, a blush still staining his pale complexion.

“Uh, well.. I better..” Draco stammered, waving his hand in a circular motion. “You should probably look in the mirror first.” Harry choked out, a smirk appearing on his lips. Draco raised an eyebrow and walked into the bathroom, a shriek followed. Harry cringed and walked in after him. “What the fuck?!” he shouted, pointing at his hair. “Ugh, you know what, nope, I’m not bothered, nope not at all. I’ll keep it like this.” he yammered on as if he was trying to convince himself, which only added to Harry’s amusement. “Are you sure you’re okay with it, I mean we could probably put a lot of shampoo in it and get it out, it might be a bit… Off colour though.” Harry chuckled. Draco shook his head “No, no it’s fine..” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“You kinda look hot.” Harry shrugged, walking over to wrap his arm loosely round Draco’s waist as he looked into the mirror with him. Draco rolled his eyes and let out a short laugh. “You would think that blueberry.” he teased. “Mm, pinky.” Draco scowled. “Pink panther?” this only caused Draco to look at him darkly. “Okay, how about Draybear?” he grinned.

Surprisingly enough, Draco pursed his lips in approval. “Yeah that’ll do.” he shrugged. “So does that make you Harbear?” Harry began to laugh at this and shrugged too. “Sure, does that mean we can do like, boyfriend stuff?”

“Wow that was awkward.” Draco smirked. “Shut up, lets go get breakfast.” Harry whined, walking back into the dorm room. “You can successfully sing to me in the middle of the Great Hall, around hundreds of other students but you can’t string coherent sentences together in private? My my Potter, who knew you were so shy.” Harry just glowered at him in response.

They dressed together, Harry put a pair of tight jogging bottoms on which only made Draco slow down, too busy staring at the impressive curve of Harry’s arse. Shaking his head he began to try and button his shirt back up, but kept missing the buttons. Harry turned round finally, wearing his dabbing skeleton t-shirt again and gave him a sheepish smile. “Ready?”

After finally managing to button his shirt up, he grabbed a pair of Harry’s jeans and sort of half sniffed them. “Can I borrow these?” he asked, holding them out. “Sure, they have a charm on them mind.” Draco frowned and slipped the jeans on, his eyes widening as they automatically shrunk to skin tight. “Wow, er, okay.” he frowned, running a hand through his hair. 

They walked out the dorm room together and down the stairs in to the Gryffindor Common Room. “Guess everyone’s already at lunch.” Harry shrugged, Draco nodded in agreement.

\-----------------------------------

As they walked into the Great Hall together, a round of applause started, causing Professor McGonnagall who was actually sitting at the teachers table today to scowl. Harry supposed it would be a rather weird sight for his peers, though he quietly felt proud Draco had walked into the hall wearing his jeans. He looked down at the jeans briefly and smirked at Draco, who rolled his eyes in response. “You’re such a tit.” he mumbled under his breath. Draco began walking towards the Slytherin table but felt a hand on his arm pull him back. “Oi, where are you going?” Harry scowled. Raising an eyebrow, Draco turned to him and let out a sigh. “To eat, Potter where the bloody fuck else would I go?”

“Come sit with me!” Harry whined, nudging him over to the Gryffindor table. Draco growled in response. “No.” 

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleeeaaase?”

“No.”

“Pretty please”

“Potter, No.”

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“Cherry? What? No!” 

“Whipped cream?”

Draco blushed scarlet, glaring at Harry who was smirking at him - he looked far too pleased with himself. He yanked his arm out of Harry’s grip and stalked over to the Slytherin table plonking himself down next to an amused Blaise. “Nice hair.” he commented, sipping on his pumpkin juice.

Draco glared at Blaise and held his hand up to stop Pansy before she spoke. “Not a word.” 

Harry huffed and walked over to the Gryffindor table, sitting down with a sigh. “Hello Harry, good night?” Hermione grinned, buttering a slice of toast. “Mm.” he replied absentmindedly.

Eyes fixed over at the Slytherin table, an idea came to him and he grinned. He accio’d his boombox and set it down on the table, earning a groan from some of his peers. “Oh shut up.” he rolled his eyes and fiddled with the dials for a bit. Once he’d settled on the song he wanted, he grinned.

“What’s Potter doing?” Draco asked Blaise, who’s eyes travelled over to the Gryffindor table. “Looks like he’s getting ready for another beautiful rendition of Potter sings to Malfoy, it’s quite cute really in the disgusting sort of way.” Draco groaned and dropped his head to the table. 

“Maybe if I run out the hall now…” he mumbled into the wood. Pansy started to giggle, she was wearing yet another interesting assortment of clothing. Today’s clothing choice consisted in a black and white pair of striped leggings, a cropped t-shirt in the same design and a pair of the most ghastly looking white shoes Draco had ever laid eyes on. “What the hell are you wearing today Pans?” he mumbled, looking up at her between his arms. “Clothes, Draco dear.” came her reply. 

All of a sudden, a song began to play very loudly. Draco’s eyes travelled up to the teachers table, the look on McGonagall's face was amusement, he groaned again. He was sure she’d put a stop to it. Actually, Draco had full confidence McGonagall would put a stop to it when she realised who Potter would be singing to. Unfortunately, Draco’s full confidence was not enough. 

The song playing, was in fact Charlie Puth’s Marvin Gaye. To which Hermione immediately burst into laughter. She was a fan of this particular song, so she decided to stand up - what did she have to lose? 

Harry began walking over to the Slytherin table, a glint in his eyes. “Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on, you got that healin’ that I want, just like they say it in the song, until the dawn let’s get it on!”  
His voice was pretty off key, but what astounded the entire of the Great Hall was Hermione began to sing the next part, earning a frown and then a cheeky grin from Harry.

Hermione bounced over to the Slytherin table, giving a quick wink to Pansy who immediately swooned. “We got this king size to ourselves, don’t have to share with no one else.” Hermione grinned in Pansy’s direction, the dark haired Slytherin bit her lip and blushed darkly.

Draco had his hands on his face, which was beet red. “Don’t keep your secrets to yourself, It’s kama sutra show and tell.” Harry winked.

Draco stood up and glared at his now sort of boyfriend. “Stop it Potter, you idiot!” he exclaimed wildly. Pansy merely tsked beside him. “Let them have their fun.” 

Hermione got close to Pansy’s face, gave her a wild wink and blew her a kiss. “I’ll have fun with you.” she whispered.

Harry looked relatively shocked, then laughed. “Hey draybear, how ‘bout we go somewhere else?” Draco choked at the public use of this new nickname and glared at Blaise, who was snickering in to his hand.

McGonnagall stood up and shook her head. “That’s enough now, please,” although the headmistress looked amused, she then straightened herself up and waved a hand. “I would like to see all of the eighth years in my office please.” 

Harry looked down at his feet, slightly embarrassed. “Guess we’re in trouble.” he mumbled. Draco shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m getting in to trouble, I did nothing wrong!” 

\------------------------

When all of the eighth years gathered in McGonagall’s office, they expected a berating for their musical activity, Harry shuffled around next to Draco who was getting more and more irritated at him. “Can you stop that?” he mumbled to Harry, who looked at him with wide eyes. “Sorry!”

“Well, although I appreciate you all taking an interest in music, I would like to announce we have sorted out a separate dorm for you all, since your inter house unity seems to be working, it shouldn’t be a problem. However, you are disturbing the other students therefore you will be moving to a new area.”

Dean and Seamus made an over-enthusiastic whoop fist pump movement, mumbling something about being able to get pissed in the common room, which earned him a disapproving look from McGonagall. “

They were all ushered to a new common room beside the Astronomy Tower, which gave Draco an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Harry merely squeezed his hand, which he’d taken as they left the headmistress’ office. 

Once inside the new common room, it was decorated in all four houses colours, a warm and cozy area with lots of sofas near an open fire. A few coffee tables dotted about and some bookcases rammed with different volumes. The ceiling illuminated with stars that seemed to glow brightly, the flooring a plush dark green carpet. 

“This is nice.” Hermione said, nodding her head in approval. 

Harry made his way down a long corridor, noting that all of the bedrooms only had two beds in each room. He cleared his throat and turned to Draco, who followed him. “Want to room with me?”  
Draco made a choking noise, stared at Harry for a moment then nodded his head. “Sure.” he was on the verge of some sort of mental breakdown at the very thought, but he wasn’t a pussy so he wasn’t going to disagree. Well, not much of a pussy.

When they entered a cozy room with two single beds, they were four poster beds the curtains the colour of all four houses, they found their trunks at the bottom of the beds. Harry frowned. “I wonder if the house elves knew we’d be rooming together.” he grinned, turning his head on it’s side to look at Draco, who shrugged.

“I think the entire castle knows we’re together now, considering I heard some fourth year Hufflepuffs talking about how I was found in your bed.” he mumbled, sitting down on the bed nearest the window. He let out a huff and lay back on the plush bed, noting it was far more comfortable than the one he had in the Slytherin dungeon. He sighed. He would miss the dungeons but he knew they were far too old and inappropriate for the younger students.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, eyeing him with suspicion.

“Nothing, I just - everythings changing quickly.” he admitted. 

“Mm.” Harry mused, plonking down on the bed too. He then had a wicked smirk on his face and jumped up. “Hop up.”

Draco rolled his eyes and pulled his body up, looking towards Harry. “How’s your transfiguration?” Harry asked, looking at his boyfriend.

“Very good, why?”

“Make these a double then.” Harry grinned cheekily. Draco blushed, then rolled his eyes. Pulling his wand out of his pocket, he concentrated and then transfigured the two beds into one large four poster bed. He then changed the curtains to Slytherin green and the bedsheets to black satin.

“There, happy?” he groaned, throwing himself onto the bed.

“Really, silky? Bit slippy.” Harry mused, sitting down on the bed he pulled his legs over and lay back, stretching his arms around the back of his head.

“It’s comfortable.” Draco mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillows.

The door flew open and in sauntered Ron, who looked very put out. “Oh so you’re not sharing with me?” he asked, Harry sighed. Draco turned around to lay on his back, eyes resting on the redhead.

“We could move a single in to the corner.” Harry suggested, biting his lip. Ron scrunched his face up and shook his head. “So I can hear you two shagging? No thanks.” he mumbled, turning around to walk out the bedroom. Once he left, Harry groaned loudly. “Fucking hell he’s going to be in a right mood with me now.”

“Shagging?” Draco squeaked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooohhhhhhh :O

It had been three weeks since the eighth years settled in to their new dorm. Since Draco and Harry had been sleeping in the same bed, Harry hadn’t come up with any new ridiculous songs much to the disappointment of the entire student body. Pansy finally had the balls to ask Hermione out, which caused a lot of ruckus with Ron - who seemed very put out by the notion. He was currently ignoring the majority of the eighth years, including Harry.

Sat on the edge of their bed, Harry was picking at the throw he’d added to the bed. He’d had somewhat of a disagreement with Draco over the deep scarlet colour it was, however the blonde had finally backed down and agreed to leave it on the bed since everything else in the room was Slytherin green.

“What’s wrong?” Draco asked, eyeing Harry curiously. Harry merely shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno why Ron is still pissed off with me.” he admitted. The threads were coming up on the throw he’d been pulling at them so hard. Draco sighed. “Well, he’s always been a bit hotheaded hasn’t he?” he shrugged.

Harry rolled his eyes and turned his head towards his boyfriend. “And you haven’t?” Draco scowled. “Don’t take it out on me, it’s not my fault your friend is a plonker.” he hauled himself up off the bed and stormed out the bedroom, leaving Harry to stew.

Draco walked through to the common room his eyes resting on Hermione and Pansy who were sat on one of the sofas beside the fire. Hermione was reading to her, it was the scene of ultimate domesticity, it brought a smile to his lips. “Hey, what are you reading?” he asked, sitting down on one of the comfortable armchairs nearest their sofa. 

Hermione looked up from her book, her eyes softening. Draco had become quite good friends with her over the last few weeks, they had a lot in common. He inwardly scolded himself for being such a twat to her over the years. “Beadle and the bard.” she mused, Pansy looked half asleep with her head on her girlfriends lap.

“Where’s Harry?” asked Hermione, closing the book. She placed it on the arm of the sofa and looked down at Pansy, a warm smile on her lips.

“Stewing in the room about Weasley not talking to him.” he mumbled, running a hand through his platinum locks. “Mm, he’ll come around.” mused Hermione, she began to run her hands through Pansy’s hair, earning a satisfied hum.

“I hope so, it’s bloody annoying now.” Draco groaned. They began to talk about their potions homework for a while, Hermione shared her notes with Draco who looked over them with interest. “I’m going to try and get a Potions apprenticeship after Hogwarts.” he announced, earning a gasp from Hermione.

“Oh, that sounds fantastic Draco!” she exclaimed, a proud smile on her face. “Thanks.” he muttered, embarrassed. 

Harry rounded the corner and made his way over to the armchair. He looked down at his boyfriend with an apologetic look on his face and sat down in his lap, throwing his legs over the arm of the chair. Draco looked at him and quirked an eyebrow up. “Sorry for being a prat.” Harry whispered, leaning his head on Draco’s shoulder.

“It’s fine.” Draco replied, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. “Draco’s going to get a Potions apprenticeship.” said Hermione, Harry frowned and nodded. “You should, you’re brilliant at Potions.” a fond smile appeared on Draco’s lips, he kissed Harry’s forehead and nodded. “Thanks, I don’t know if anyone will take me though.” he admitted, ducking his head down, he rested his chin on the top of Harry’s head.

“Why not?” Harry asked, frowning. Hermione grimaced. “Because he’s an ex-Death Eater Harry.” she sighed, shaking her head. Although Harry cared, he wasn’t half dense sometimes. 

“Oh well isn’t this just fucking fantastic.” a voice came from behind them. An angry looking Ron stood behind them, his arms folded to his chest. He looked positively seething. “You sick cunts are taking up the entire common room.” he growled. Harry frowned, sitting upright. Draco’s hold tightened around his waist, Harry wasn’t quite sure if it was because he didn’t want his boyfriend to jump Ron, or if he was nervous.

“What do you want Ron?” Harry grumbled, wrapping his arms around Draco’s neck. Hermione turned her head towards her friend and rolled her eyes. “There’s plenty of sofas to sit on Ron, you don’t have to be nasty.”

Ron barked out a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Why did you kiss me, if you fancy her?” he asked, this was clearly nothing to do with them sitting on the sofas, or being together in general and everything to do with the fact that Ron assumed him and Hermione would get together and have perfect babies together. Harry grimaced. He wouldn’t like to be in Hermione’s shoes.

Draco felt the overwhelming urge to protect his new friend. “She’s not your property Weasley, just because she kissed you doesn’t mean she belongs to you.” he frowned, shaking his head. Ron turned his attention to Draco, he pulled his wand out and pointed it in the blonde’s direction.

“Fuck off Death Eater scum.” Ron shouted, Harry jumped up out of his boyfriend’s lap, whipping his wand out to point at Ron. “Don’t talk to him like that.” he growled.

“You’re no better Harry, you killed the Dark Lord just to fuck his followers!” 

Draco could feel the crackle of electricity in the air, Harry had untold power and he did not wish to witness it at this moment, he stood up and wrapped his fingers around Harry’s hand. “Don’t, he’s not worth it.” he mumbled. Looking in Draco’s direction, Harry bit his lip and nodded, holstering his wand once again.

Ron just laughed and walked in the direction of his room, shouting obscenities the entire way. 

\--------------------------

Lunch was no better, Draco, Harry, Pansy and Hermione had made their way to the hall together, Draco and Hermione continued their conversation about Potions whilst Harry made small talk with Pansy - he really had no idea what to say to the witch, considering the first thing she’d mentioned was that she was scared and apologised profusely about trying to hand him over to the Dark Lord. Harry merely shrugged his shoulders and immediately accepted the apology.

“Are you and Draco going to Hogsmeade this weekend?” she asked as they sat down at their table. Harry frowned “I don’t know, I haven’t asked yet.” Pansy nodded. “I asked Hermione, so we’re going if you want to come with us”

Harry nodded, looking over to his boyfriend who sat down beside Hermione. He’d pulled out some parchment from his bag and passed it to her, Hermione took it willingly and started scanning the pages, pointing out different things.

“I’ll ask later, he seems busy.” 

Pansy threw her head back, laughing. “It’s good he’s found someone to enthuse about homework with.” she said, sitting down opposite the two. Harry sat down next to her and bit his lip. “Do you think he thinks I’m boring?” he asked in a hushed tone. Pansy looked at him as though he had two heads and chuckled. “No, Potter. I don’t.”

Harry thought about it for a moment and started shovelling food on his plate, his head snapping up as Blaise and Theo sat down beside them too. “Hello.” said Theo, nodding his head towards Harry. 

Harry nodded in reply, biting his lip. “Hello.” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, his gaze travelling to Draco, still engrossed in his conversation with Hermione.

“Draco says he doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.” Harry whispered to Pansy, who’s eyes widened, she spat her pumpkin juice out and blushed, using a napkin to clean it up. “Potter, you can’t just spring that on a girl!” she whispered back. “Sorry.” he replied sheepishly.

“So?” she said, gesturing for him to continue. “Do you think I should ask him to marry me?” he whispered. Pansy let out a bark of laughter and shook her head. “Are you serious?”

Harry nodded. She let out a huff and smiled. “Well, if you love him and you want to marry him sure, but if you’re doing it for sex then no.” 

Harry thought about it for a moment, bit his lip and began to eat. Did he love Draco? He thought he did. They hadn’t mentioned it yet, neither of them. He wondered if he could find a song to express his feelings for the other boy, but if he was honest, now he was in a relationship with him he was more and more nervous. He’d lost his inner confidence. Draco had taken the pink hair dye out of his hair a couple of weeks ago. Even though Harry enjoyed the pink, he preferred Draco blonde. But now he seemed so serious, so much himself and it set him on edge.

“I do.” he declared, startling the other occupants of the table. Pansy looked at him and pursed her lips. “You do what?” asked Draco, Harry had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t realised his and Hermione’s conversation had ended about ten minutes ago. 

“I love you.” he declared, trying to muster his Gryffindor courage. Draco choked on his waffle, his brows knitted together. “Um, I love you too.” he mumbled, blushing furiously.

Hermione let out a squeak and began to clap. “That’s wonderful!” Pansy smirked. “I always knew this would bloody happen.” 

“What? How?” Harry frowned, turning his head towards the dark haired witch. “Always obsessed with each other.” Hermione nodded in agreement. “I mean you sort of stalked Draco.” she admitted, a sympathetic look on her face.

“I thought he was up to something!” he exclaimed in reply. Draco smirked. “Well I was.”

Harry put his hands up in the air. “See!” 

“Obsessed.” Pansy merely shrugged.

Once again, an angry shout from Ron had the two pairs groaning. He seemed to be in an argument with Seamus and Dean this time, which happened to be the only two people that would still talk to him. Suddenly, Ginny stood up and strode over to her brother. She pointed her finger at him an angry look on her face.

“Stop being such an insufferable idiot Ronald!” she shouted, stomping her foot. “Get over your fucking self!”

Ron stood, wide eyed and furious. He blushed, looked around at his peers and stormed out of the hall. Turning around on her heel, she sauntered over to Hermione and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for his terrible behaviour.” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “We still love you, he’s just being a moron.”

Hermione stood up and threw her arms around the smaller Weasley. “Thank you!” she exclaimed, tears in her eyes. “He’s still my best friend you know.” she whispered in to Ginny’s ear. Ginny smiled and nodded, wrapping her arms around Hermione.

“I know, and you’re still mine.”

Hermione grinned and pulled back “Thank you” she whispered.

“Draco will you marry me?” Harry asked, out of the blue. Everyone turned their attention to the pair, Hermione and Ginny wearing matching shocked expressions. Pansy smirked. Draco’s eyes went wide and he spluttered

“What?!” he exclaimed, staring at Harry, eyes wild, darting around the hall. “Will you?” he repeated, looking at Draco with an intensity that Draco couldn’t quite comprehend.

Stunned, Draco just stared at him slack jawed.

“Okay.” he squeaked out, nodding his head.

Harry grinned.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that it took so long to update this. <3

**Four Years Later**

“Happy anniversary!” Harry shouted, bounding through the kitchen door like wild cattle. Startled, Draco turned around and raised an eyebrow at his husband. Sometimes he wondered why he married this oaf, he was always fucking about doing something ridiculous. A fond smile appeared on Draco’s face.

“Happy anniversary, Harry,” Draco said, pressing a kiss to the now dark haired man’s forehead. Harry had given up dying his hair a couple of years ago, he’d been nearly every colour of the rainbow by now. After Andromeda had gotten sick, Draco and Harry agreed to take care of Teddy, which seemed to be going rather well. The little boy absolutely adored the two of them, as well as his Aunties Pansy and Hermione, who married only a year after Draco and Harry had done. 

Harry had never really made up with Ron after Hogwarts, sometimes they’d pass each other in the Ministry corridors, they’d nod or say hello - it was a far cry from what their friendship used to be. Sometimes it upset Harry, but Draco was always quick to remind him it was Ron’s attitude towards both Harry and Hermione that caused this rift. They’d remained quite good friends with Ginny however.

“It came Dray, open it, open it!” Harry said, rather enthusiastically. Raising an eyebrow, Draco took the small box out of Harry’s hand and placed it down on the kitchen counter. “Have you been eating sugar quills again?” He asked, his tone a little accusatory. After all, they’d been scolding Teddy for sneaking them from their snack drawer.

“No! I’m just excited.” Harry smiled, looking from the gift to Draco every few seconds. Rolling his eyes, Draco pulled the ribbon, letting it fall. “You’re such a child sometimes, Potter.” Draco scoffed, shaking his head.

“You’re also Potter, so you must be a child too.” Harry beamed. Draco let out a huff and opened the box, his eyes going as wide as saucers. “Is this?” The blond whispered, picking up the piece of parchment stamped with the St. Mungo’s seal. Harry nodded his head, chewing his lower lip.

“Yes, I didn’t want to open it without you,” he whispered back. Harry walked forwards and wrapped his arms around Draco’s waist, nestling his head into the other man’s shoulder. Draco took in a deep breath, breaking the seal. 

Draco had been training intensely, it was his one dream to become a Healer, do something good with his life to make up for the shit, he’d said. To start with, Draco put off applying for the training program, he was too scared - instead he’d apprenticed at a Potion’s shop in Hogsmeade, but it was evident the blond didn’t enjoy it.

They’d been waiting for a while for this, he didn’t know how to feel about it. What if they didn’t want him? What if they failed him because of his past? What if it was simply because he was _absolutely shit_?

Opening the parchment, Draco scanned the contents, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. “Well?” Harry asked, he didn’t like reading bad news, he rather someone told him - so he was very purposely not reading.

“Oh,” Draco said, exhaling loudly. Harry winced. “Harry.” the blond said simply, his face changing to the most shit eating grin Harry had ever seen. “Oh my god, Harry I passed!” he shouted, jumping up and down.

Harry began to jump up and down alongside his husband, to the rest of the world they must’ve looked a little potty, but that was just them. It started from ridiculousness, there was so much more ridiculousness yet to come.


End file.
